newww workout

i was watching tv the other night and i saw this infor mercial for this abs workout routine thing..and what you do is you take one of those flexible balls and put it behind you so your back is on an angle and that way when you do crunches and sit ups its gives you more flexability and stretch, making you work harder and get quicker results.

i didnt have a ball like that so what i did was take 2 small pillows instead and used that..it works so nicely, ive been doing it for 3 days so far and no lie i can tell the difference in my stomach. Try it out and tell me if it works.

 

im a fat ass
im a fat ass
im a fat ass

i need an intervention. ...

in life you can only have one best friend and if its her you chose - then i wish to be your nothing. If i cant be anythingin your life then i cant be nothing in mine. I was tehre for you and you were there for me but obviously things chgange and now its her turn.. no wait it was always her turn. I just cant believe anything anymore. im starting to fall in my footsteps and im starting to fail in my dreams. You've known her longer but hell you mean everything. I counted you as a friend and i cancelled everyone in my life except you. You dont even understand. Im wasting my time. Do you know how i feel? ? no you dont. and you probably dont care, `cause all you do is think of her. I am jealous okay i'll admit it, i admit everything and will tell you something, i did fall for you but i knew id be wasting my time. so BESTFRIENDS is what i decided it to be, and it was official. at least thats what i thought, but then at that very moment i knew i was wrong. Something im side me told me to give up, but imstronger everyday. Oour memories wont be forgotten like the otheres, you alone made me what i amt oday but again if i cant be your best friend then i choose to be nothing because nothing to you is better than you not knowing me at all.

its a whole new level

i feel fatter than ever these days.
my best friend called me today and told me bout her boyfriend called her fat..and she's not some chubby girl what so ever.
She's tall, blonde and a model...and to hear that her boyfriends calling her fat made me feel enormous. this is so hard ..i dont want to be fat anymore.
i wanna be able to go to the beach with all my friends..have fun in the sun, tan ? walk around a water park with out having to worry about my celullite ..i want to wear a skimpy bikini && finally have all eyes on me.

My fast lasted about 36 hours, i had to eat something i was starving. although i couldve done a better job with what i chose to eat. im not gonna say what i twas becuase its only gonna make me hungrier than i already am....

im gonna start another fast right now, so far its been..15 hours since ive had a bite to eat, lets see how long i can go for this time.

If you have any tips on how i can avoid binging.. or how to keep on track and focused please help me out. im so desperate now. im at another whole new level.

he l p m e . &&hearts.

promm countdownn

Yesterdays Workout
5 walking on treadmill
15 running on treadmill
10 on bike

im guessing i burned a minimum of 150 calories yesterday, it was okay i guess, i wouldve stayed longer at the gym but it was closing but imgoing back today for another workout .

As of right now, i havnt had a bite to eat since yesterday at 1030 am, so its been about 24 hours of liquid fasting. I dont want to set a goal becuase that makes it harder so im taking it hour by hour and we'll see how long i can last.

I was in my room last night and i started thinking about prom, i know its still another 11 months away but thats 11 months that i have to turn into something fabulous. I dont want to have to worry about having bulges showing through my dress...flabby arms..fat legs. I wanna look fit .I found some dresses that i fell in love with, i'll put them up here tell me which one i should go for.

why can't i look like Adriana ?

i took a week off to think this through again and to wonder whether its worth going back to and even tho its gonna take alot from me to stick with it, i want to do it. Everyone has a limit, they all have a certain amount of discouragment they can absorb..some more than others, those others are people are people like me. Trying diet after diet and continuously failing disturbs your mind and even tho you try your hardest to convince yourself that nothings wrong with you, society finds a way to invade your personal thoughts and turns you into a monster. I know its horrible what im doing but no matter how much sense i try and put into my actions i cant find anything about me to be satisfied .

i know im not alone, theres so many girls who turn to this because its all we have left. everything else has failed us, and until those people who come after us saying that its wrong... they cant judge us until they know what we've gone through to get to this point. Theres always a reason and until they know first hand... dont say 

i will work out
i will not eat
i will work out
i will not eat 
i will work out
x 2